I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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