YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out