Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize