pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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