dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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