some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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