I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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