In the future we'll all be gay
I cockslap morals
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
