I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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