So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
