I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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