I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
