I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
