Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
