Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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