WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
