only you would photoshop your dick
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
