it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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