No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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