Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
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