So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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