Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
