First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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