My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
