so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
