Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize