I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
