pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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