so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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