At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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