you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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