I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
