Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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