She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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