I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
