My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
