I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My liver just broke up with me...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
