I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
