I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize