Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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