scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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