What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
