Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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