you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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