either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
