I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
