just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
