I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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