she was so not down for the gang bang
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
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sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
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The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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