Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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