I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
