but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
