I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
