How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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