I want to walk on stilts...naked
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize