I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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