So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
