Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
