This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
