The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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