First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
