Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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