thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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