i just google imaged poop.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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