Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
